The Corn-Pecking Impetus
by sarahhaa
Summary: The hen explores her Coop.


**A/N: My first one-shot, and my first Shamy story. I own nothing. Enjoy.**

* * *

_Like a chicken pecking for corn…he'd be having the time of his life…_

Amy had heard through Penny who had heard through Leonard that Sheldon had uttered those phrases earlier when talking about Penny and Cole potentially getting intimate. She had been pondering them for hours, trying to decipher what he could have possibly meant…and if what she suspected she thought they meant was really what Sheldon had meant them to mean. It was baffling. She was sitting on Penny's bright aqua couch with her bestie seated next to her.

"He couldn't have…" Amy mused.

"Amy, I'm telling you. That's exactly what Leonard said he said. Kinda pissed that he said that about me, but the point is…_he wants you_…or at least your services." Penny grinned at Amy and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, who looked back at Penny with disbelief, her mouth agape.

"I don't know, I mean…this is Sheldon we're talking about. You realize it took him two years to hold my hand, right? Why would he just say that seemingly out of nowhere? I mean, who knows, it could've meant anything."

"Amy, there's absolutely nothing else that could have meant…and he didn't _just_ say it. Leonard told me he actually…you know, did the motions for it." Penny waved her hand in the air dismissively, then said, "So weird…", curling her lip up in disgust as she stared into space.

"He did what?"

"Okay, I'm just going to be blunt. Sheldon wants you to go down on him. Ew. He clearly knew what he was talking about, why and how would he have known to make the gestures for it?"

"Ew?"

"Amy, listen. You've got to do something! This is monumental. This is Sheldon! Don't you realize what this means?!" Penny was trying to shove the thoughts of Sheldon and Amy doing such things away, and started to become excited for Amy and the possible advancement this could mean for her relationship with Sheldon.

"I don't know, Penny. What am I supposed to do, just walk up to him and say, 'Sheldon, pull your pants down, because you're about to have the time of your life!'? I really don't think he'll go for it."

"Well obviously you can't be that forward. But there has to be something you can do or say to make it happen…you do want it to happen, right?"

"Um…yeah…if that's really what he meant! I mean, I'll be honest, it sounds pretty exhausting from what I've researched, and I've never done it before, so…" She drifted off for a second, lost in her thoughts. "…but I want to make Sheldon happy. If he said that it would be the time of a man's life, and he is a man, one can assume he would enjoy it himself. I would like to know that I was able to provide such results to him." She then became discouraged again, adding, "But what if it's not what he meant? What if he was innocently referring to chickens pecking for corn dropped on the ground? He's never indicated or made any reference to anything of that nature before…why would he now?"

Penny stared at Amy wide-eyed and saddened for a while without saying anything, and then said, "Oh, sweetie. He wants it. He wants you. Trust me; I've been with plenty of guys to know what those types of analogies mean. So…now that it's decided that he wants it, and he _DOES_, and you want it, and I can… you know, show you the basics later on a popsicle or something, how can you make it happen?" She tapped her index finger over her lips, thinking of convincing ways Amy could approach Sheldon.

"What if you approached it as an experiment? He'd probably go crazy for that, right?"

"I don't know, I think once I touched his belt buckle, he'd tense up like a sphincter about to be probed and catch on. Let's nix that idea."

"Well what if you just slipped him some alcohol? He'd never have to know, you'd get what you want, and you'd give him what he wants…win/win/win, right?"

"Wrong. The idea of inebriating Sheldon for the purposes of taking advantage of him makes me very uncomfortable. Plus, would he even know what was going on? If he's the one who wants it, like you're so convinced he does, then shouldn't he be of clear mind and conscious? No to the alcohol idea, bestie."

"Okay yeah, I guess…um…what if you walked in while he was sleeping, and woke him up that way?" Penny beamed, biting her lower lip in anticipation of Amy's response.

"Seriously, Penny?" Amy glared at Penny through her glasses. "That might work for Leonard, but for Sheldon…it's the worst suggestion ever."

"Yeah, you're right…I don't think him yelling, 'Danger, danger!' in the middle of you going to town on him is really what you'd want to hear. Nixed."

"Agreed. Hmm…" Amy and Penny thought for awhile in silence, trying to catalog anything and everything that might cause Sheldon to let Amy go for it. After a long silence, Amy said, "I'VE GOT IT!" She beamed gleefully at Penny, who was now waiting for Amy to continue.

"What is it?" Penny finally asked.

"Line segments…" Amy whispered more to herself than anyone, leaving Penny all the more confused.

"What?"

"Line segments…circles…Flatland. It's perfect!" Amy jumped off her seat and grinned wildly. After sitting back down, a mischievous twinkle grew in her eyes, and she stared into the middle of the room.

"Okay, sweetie…what are you talking about? What the hell is Flatland? Do I even want to know?" Penny looked worried and still very much puzzled.

"Yes, because it will work. Listen. One time Sheldon came over to my apartment when I was feeling particularly stressed from a harrowing day at work. I asked him if he had any suggestions on how to relieve my tension, and he proposed visiting a place called 'Flatland.' I became thrilled that he might want to go on a weekend trip with me. Much to my chagrin, he was not suggesting we take a literal out-of-town trip together, but rather a trip in our minds. I told him he was being a bit 'hippy-dippy', to which a scathing glare was received…"

"Okay, sweetie…is there a point to this?"

"Of course. Zip those pretty lips and let me explain. I asked him about Flatland, and he said he likes to visit there when he's feeling stifled and 'wants a change of scenery.' He told me he'd taken Raj there before so that Raj could meet a sexually attractive line segment if Raj was a circle, 'because Flatland gals are all hot for circles.' Apparently Raj was trying to convince Sheldon to go out with him, and Sheldon wasn't having it. So he took him there instead. Anyway, bestie, if I tell Sheldon I want to visit Flatland, I can _in a way_, hypnotize him by telling him I am a sexually attractive line segment. I can tell him he is a circle. I can create a picture in his Flatland scenario which would allow for him to essentially become spellbound under my commands. When we were in Flatland before, he was so enraptured in the scenario, everything around us didn't exist; he was in a new world…a new dimension of thinking! It was fascinating. I am 95% sure this could work!"

"I don't know, Amy…I hear what you're saying, really freakin' weird as it is, but you and I both know Sheldon is pretty bossy…what makes you think he'd just let you take charge of his little Flatland fantasy?"

"Well, that's why I say I'm 95% positive. There's a 5% chance he could just snap out of it and try to convince me he doesn't want 'it'. But I'll just have to tell him to trust me. It's chancy, but if he really desires this, I need to make it happen."

"And if you're the one who is 'stressed' in this fantasy, shouldn't he be the one providing you relief?" Penny winked at Amy suggestively.

"Hmm…" Amy thought for a few beats, completely missing Penny's evocative point. "Maybe you're right…so what if I just ask him if he's feeling stuck on something? Or stressed? I can only proceed if he answers affirmatively and that's not a guarantee."

"Honestly, I think you should just go for it. If he isn't feeling any of those things, then you can just try again another time. If he is, you're good to go, right?" Penny bounced in her seat a little bit, getting excited for Amy.

Amy smiled nervously. "Yeah, I guess you're right. He'll just take my question as concern for his well-being anyway, which is acceptable inquiring protocol for Sheldon."

"Sweetie, I think he only cares if it's you asking." Penny smiled at Amy broadly, thinking to herself how sweet the Shamy actually were together, even if they did sometimes creep her out.

"Yeah…" Amy sighed happily.

"He's got it bad for you, sweetie, you know that right?" Penny noticed the concern hidden underneath Amy's excitement, and added, "You're nervous, aren't you?"

Amy sighed. "Yeah, I am. I just… I don't know what I'm doing. I've never done this before. I've never dreamt of doing this before. It's just, Sheldon…he's the…I just…"

"The only man you've ever wanted to do anything like that with before? The man of your dreams? The love of your life?" Penny replied, finishing all of Amy's thoughts.

"Yeah." Amy smiled coyly. "I like him, Penny, a lot. I don't want to scare him off or freak him out or have him start to get into it and then do a really bad job and fail miserably. I don't want to ruin things. But if he really wants this…no offense, but can I trust your word? Does he 100% want this?"

"I can assure you, he definitely does. He might not have said it outright, but he's not very good at hiding clues. Leonard sees it, I see it, we all see it. Trust me, Amy, I wouldn't be saying all of this if I thought you would end up getting hurt. And as for the actual, you know, _performance_, I can help you with that. Come with me!" Penny jumped off her couch and Amy followed. Penny got two popsicles out of her freezer and handed one to Amy.

"Okay, this will be your practice penis. Now, since you plan on doing this when you guys are in 'Flatland'," Penny said while raising her eyebrows slightly condescendingly, "he…and I'm sorry, but I'm really having a hard time trying not to visualize this…he probably won't be hard…at all; unless of course your sexy line segment thing really works…which means more work for you to get him there. Are you okay with that?"

"Umm…yeah I guess I have to be. Just tell me what to do bestie!"

Penny did just that. They spent the rest of the night that way, Penny teaching and Amy acting as the student, learning the proper techniques for Amy to pleasure Sheldon.

"Well, are you ready to try it for real tomorrow?" Penny asked after she finished her demonstration.

"I guess…I'm still quite nervous, but I guess that's to be expected. Are you still sure I should do this, Penny?" Amy answered, licking the remainder of the cherry liquid off her popsicle stick.

"Amy! I'm telling you…you definitely need to do it. And he definitely wants you to be his hen." Penny wiggled her eyebrows.

"Okay, good. I guess I'm ready then." Amy replied, peppering her reply with hopefulness.

"Awesome! Operation Pecking at Sheldon's Corn is on!" Immediately after saying it, Penny's eyes bulged from her head and said, "Oh, God…that'll be an image burned into my head forever."

Amy just giggled giddily and thought how that image would likely be burnt into her head too, soon; only hers would be from memory and firsthand experience.

* * *

As Amy lay in bed that night, she thought about everything that she and Penny had talked about. She thought about what Sheldon had been suggesting to Leonard, and prayed to a deity whose existence she doubted that she wouldn't be taking things out of line; that her Flatland scenario would work and Sheldon would relent to her commands; she hoped that he would just enjoy it. In the back of her mind, she hoped that she would enjoy it as well. She was hopelessly inexperienced, the only preparation being Penny's popsicle demonstration earlier in the evening. She really wanted it to be a good experience for herself and Sheldon. She tossed and turned the rest of the night, preparing herself mentally and emotionally for the events she prayed would transpire that next day.

* * *

It was 5 o'clock. Amy had just arrived home from work and had an hour until her and Sheldon's designated date. She went to her bathroom to brush her teeth and comb her hair, making sure not a strand was out of place. Looking in the mirror at herself, she pondered whether or not to make any other changes before he would arrive. She quickly decided that it would be less suspicious is she remained exactly the same as she always looked, so she walked away from her mirror satisfied. For the remainder of her time before his arrival, she arranged the take-out onto plates, reassuring herself that she'd purchased the right mustard and soy sauce. She poured them each a glass of water, then sat patiently on her couch, tapping her fingers on her knee caps, waiting for his inevitably timely arrival.

At 6 o'clock on the dot, Amy heard his signature knock. As she stood to answer the door, she breathed in and out deeply a few times to calm her nerves. This was it. She answered the door.

"Good evening, Sheldon." She said with a warm smile.

"Hello, Amy. I trust you've had a productive day of work?" He asked, removing his windbreaker and walking over to the couch to sit down and begin dinner. She didn't miss the sparkle in his eye when he gazed down at her. _Hoo_, she thought internally.

"Indeed, I did. How was your day?" This was the moment that would either lead to some hanky-panky, or a completely regular, entirely nonsexual date-night dinner.

"Oh, I'm glad you asked." _Still ambiguously answered_, Amy thought anxiously. "It was absolutely dreadful!" He finally replied.

"Why was it dreadful?" Amy perked up and tried to suppress a Cheshire-like grin.

Sheldon eyed her intensely. "Amy…I was late for my deadline, and the cafeteria ran out of green Jell-O. To make matters worse, Alex called in sick, so I wasn't able to use her as my workhorse. It was a catastrophe!" He huffed loudly and sank into the couch, forgoing his dinner in favor of recapping his tale of woe to his girlfriend.

"Sheldon…I'm sorry to hear about all this. It sounds like…maybe, you'd wanna get away from it all and…uh, relax in another land?" _Oh God, that was way too obvious. _Amy cringed at her lack of tact.

"Amy! Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?" Sheldon smiled at her, a smile she knew was reserved for her only.

"Well, Sheldon, I don't know what _you_ think I'm suggesting, but I am suggesting that maybe we could, uh, visit Flatland again. I know you like to go there sometimes, maybe you'd feel better if you, uh, took a trip?"

"Amy, that is a brilliant idea! Why didn't I think of that?"

Amy beamed.

"Well, I better get going then so I can go home and go to Flatland. Thank you for dinner, and for listening." Sheldon stood up to put his jacket on.

"Wait!"

Sheldon turned back to Amy. "What is it?" He asked expectantly.

"Um…" Amy turned her eyes downward and started picking at her nails.

"Amy? I have a schedule to keep. Spit it out."

She looked him in the eyes and asked shyly, "May I go to Flatland with you?"

Sheldon cocked his head at her, confused. "I thought you said your day was productive?"

"Well it was. I mean, before you got here, I was at the store. I couldn't find any Yoo-Hoo. It has put quite a damper on my day ever since." Amy fibbed, wondering if he would latch onto her flimsy excuse.

He clutched the area over his heart. "Oh my! That is awful." He stood wordlessly in her living room, thinking. "I suppose it wouldn't do me any harm to take you with me again." He took his spot back on her couch, making himself at home again.

Amy let out a hefty sigh, relieved but feeling slightly guilty that she'd formulated a lie to keep him there. _He'll thank me later_, she hoped with a small smile.

"So, shall we begin?" Sheldon asked.

"Question. Would you be willing to let me lead this time? I think I've got a grasp on how it's done, and since you are the one in greater distress, I feel that you would find the greatest amount of relief if someone other than yourself led us to Flatland."

"Amy!" He looked down at her and smiled that sweet, beautiful smile, his eyes sparkling wildly. She loved the way her name rolled off his tongue and lips. "That's a very thoughtful and wonderful idea. I agree to the terms. " He sat at the edge of her couch, closing his eyes and holding each of his index and middle fingers to his temples. "I'm ready."

_Okay, this is it. This is the moment. I can do this. Just stay calm and act natural. Penny assured me he does want this. I can do this. I can do it._ Amy began silently chanting words of encouragement to herself.

Amy sat opposite Sheldon on her couch, perched at the edge. She cleared her throat and began, lowering her voice to match the mystique of their joint adventure. "Okay…you are now a circle in two-dimensional space. You can only perceive the edges of other objects. You are looking for relief from your days as the set of all points in a plane that are a given distance from a given point, so you will look for a companion." Amy paused nervously, beginning again with a shred of hope that this would work. "You're in luck today. I am a sexually attractive line segment, and I've come to chat you up." Amy checked to see if Sheldon had any reaction to the last remark, and to her amazement, he seemed to be squirming around in his seat, as if suddenly uncomfortable. _That could mean two things_, she thought. _Either he's about ready to leave, or….he's getting turned on and trying to hide the evidence. _Either way, she wouldn't know until she continued. "I am now walking towards you, slowly, so slowly, hoping you'll notice my…" Amy leant over and whispered seductively into Sheldon's ear, "_distinct end points_." Sheldon shivered, her breath tickling his ear, the thick atmosphere causing prickles on his skin. By now she was convinced he was enjoying being under her control in Flatland, so she went for the big guns. "Do you like what you see, circle?"

Sheldon nodded his head vigorously. "Oh yes. Your ends are very distinct."

"That's good to hear." She stroked his right arm with one slim finger, hoping to elicit more shivers from him. It worked. "Unfortunately," she began with a poutiness in her voice, "we have both just switched." Sheldon's brow furrowed slightly. "I am now a circle, and you are the line segment. And I want you inside me." Amy immediately cursed herself. _Did I really just say that? Oh no…_Again, searching for a reaction and praying that he was still participating, she looked over. What she saw caused her jaw to drop down to the floor. Her eyes bulged, but it was nothing compared to his bulge. _It's working?!_, she thought incredulously. Her mind was buzzing now, wondering where to go next. Clearly he was turned on, he was completely entranced_. I need to kiss his lips first, this isn't Pretty Woman_, Amy thought to herself. "You and I meet at the arc, and your end point touches mine…" she leaned in and said, "ever so gently…" At that moment, her lips met his, pressing softly and sweetly against his skin, lingering on his scent. She shivered at the touch, sparks coursing through her veins. He responded to her kiss with a mix of desperation and uncertainty, and she savored the moment with everything she had in her. She felt like she was on Cloud 9. Their heads tilted slightly in towards each other, foreheads almost touching. This kiss…it was perfect. Soft, sweet, sexy. It had to end, though. This was not her goal. She released her lips from his, and opening her eyes, noted the slight look of disappointment on his concentrated face. Starting again, Amy knew what was about to come was the moment of truth, the nerve-wracking moment to end all nerve-wracking moments.

"I am desperate for you. I need you inside me. We need to form a radius." Amy again lowered her voice to a register which most would consider sultry. She stood up quietly, making her way in front of Sheldon's body. She noted that Sheldon had been suspiciously silent through the whole endeavor. _Curious…_, she thought. She initiated their scenario again, this time commanding, "I need a straight line segment." Sheldon stood up without further pushing. Amy moved to place her finger over his belt buckle, shaking like a leaf. _Calm yourself…it's working. Be confident. He wants this._ Amy stood like that, hands covering his buckle, eyes closed, praying, for what seemed like hours. She could hear the clock on the opposite wall ticking. Her heart thumped twice as fast. Without a chance to tell herself to back out, she began working on his buckle, successfully undoing it after two hurried and nervous failed attempts. She looked at him. His face was tranquil; even a hint of a smile forming on his lips, as if completely yielding to whatever scenario Amy had formed in Flatland was working. _Like a freaking charm_, she mused in disbelief. Knowing at this point there was no turning back, Amy used her fingers to slide Sheldon's burgundy pants down his long, sturdy legs. _Oh my God._ She gulped. He was certainly impressive. It wasn't really a surprise, though_, _he was impressive at everything. She smiled cheekily to herself. She was now on her knees, her face directly in front of his length, the only thing between her "circle" and his "line segment" was his briefs. She gently and still very nervously looped her fingers around his waistband, and pulled his briefs over his package, making sure not to tug too hard. What she found almost made her faint. She was shaking so badly she felt she needed to lie down. This was beginning to be too real, much too real for her. What could she do, though? Her boyfriend was standing in front of her, completely exposed, thinking he was in a Flatland setting that required him to form a radius with her. Realizing she had no option but to go for it, she let out one heavy, nervous sigh. She replayed everything her bestie had taught her the day before. Looking at Sheldon, she noticed his length twitch. The vixen inside of her knew it needed attention…fast. She refused to deny her boyfriend happiness. Without a further hesitation, she leant forward and wrapped her lips around him.

"Mmm…" Sheldon mewed quietly. Her mouth was warm around him, flooding him with intense feelings of arousal.

Amy felt encouraged by that. Concentrating on making him feel good, she began to twirl her tongue around his head, noting the dips and curves on the tip of her tongue. Sheldon's knees buckled, his hips thrusting forward, and without opening his eyes, he moved his hands backwards to find stability from the arm of the couch. She followed him, ensuring that he was never denied her lips. She moved her tongue to his tip, and was shocked to feel pre-ejaculate seeping from it. She lapped it up, tasting the liquid, relishing his taste. He was sweet. His skin felt like satin on her lips. She felt him twitch again, so she moved her right hand up to grip his shaft, never abandoning him with her mouth. Hand and mouth now working in sync to pleasure him, she pumped him while at the same time moving her mouth in rotations over the top half of his manhood, making sure to focus her tongue on slight flicking motions over his opening at the same time. Opening her eyes, she tried to discern his feelings as she worked at his hardness. She continued to lap at his head with her tongue while pumping harder with her right hand, and noticed his head roll back in pleasure. His mouth was slack-jawed, and there were tiny noises emitting from him, like whispers of moans. She couldn't hear him properly, but she refused to leave him to the cold air. With her left hand, she drew her fingers up gently to his testicles, and began cupping and gently squeezing each one, while maintaining her wet mouth over his hardened penis.

"Amy…", he growled desperately.

Amy smiled and purred in delight after hearing her name melt off Sheldon's pouty lips. Moaning into his length, she felt him shudder in ecstasy. She teased him, torturously slowly drawing her flat tongue up his shaft, and back down again. He was completely gone, hers in every way. Deciding to take things further, she removed her hands from him, and holding him by the waist with both hands, pushed him further into her, until he was teasing the edge of her throat. Every last inch of him was engulfed in her, and she continuously tortured him, thrusting his length at her tight entrance. Sheldon cried out, a little louder this time. "Oh, Lord! Amy…"

Her ears were pulsing. Her mouth was numb. She was absolutely lost in the moment. She was more aroused, more wet, than she'd ever been in her entire life. Hearing Sheldon's cries and pleas was everything she could've ever hoped to hear. She continued to relish the flavor of his skin, and breathed in his scent. Musky and masculine, yet sweet and very clean, she rolled her tongue and moistened lips around in circular motions, dipping his manhood deeper, hoping to push him over the edge. By now they were both moaning in sync with one another, the vibrations from her mews eliciting a chorus of erotic sounds from his gaping mouth. Soon she could feel his breathing getting shallower and more erratic, and he began to thrust forward into her forcefully, enough to let her know he was close, but not so hard to hurt her. Giving it every last ounce of effort she had in her, she tightened her grip with her mouth around him, steadying the pace of her devotion on him. With one final push, she felt Sheldon shudder, his whole body convulsing. He released inside of her, filling her with his answer. Yes, he was pleased. She continued to taste him, cleaning him with her tongue until she felt him soften between her swollen lips. She finally released him, and lifting herself off her knees, she nervously began to wonder if everything had gone okay, if he was satisfied. She moved to sit down on the couch next to him, waiting for him to initiate some sort of conversation.

Eyes still closed, Sheldon pulled up his briefs and his pants, buckling himself back up.

_Oh, no, why isn't he saying anything_?, she wondered worriedly.

Sheldon finally opened his eyes, revealing the ocean blue orbs she admired so much. Looking him in the eye was quite embarrassing now. She looked down, concentrating on her lap. After what seemed like days sitting there in silence, Sheldon finally spoke up.

"How did you know?" He asked timidly, avoiding her eyes as well.

Amy looked up at him, _how did I know?_ "What?" She asked.

"How did you know?" He cleared his throat, indicating downward at what they'd just done together.

"Oh." She smiled very shyly. "Sometimes hens' clucking is actually beneficial to you, as well."

Sheldon looked at Amy, who was reticently eyeing him back, hoping he'd catch on to what she meant. The smallest grin graced his lips, knowing full well what she meant.

"Amy?"

"Yes, Sheldon?" She still felt vulnerable for some reason.

"I like visiting Flatland with you." He continued to gaze down at her, and she met his eyes. They both smiled their special Sheldon and Amy smiles at each other for the first time. Without tearing their eyes from each other, Sheldon reached out and took Amy's hand in his. "Let's go there more often."


End file.
